no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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