I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
