I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
