If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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