someone get that fucking seahorse.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
