She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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