I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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