I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
