if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
