So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
