My boss' voice literally gives me gas
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
