quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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