remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
