pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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