you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
