party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
