I need help removing her.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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