It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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