on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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