Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
