he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
