hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
