OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
