she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
