I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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