Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
