More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
