Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
