dude i'm inner monologue high
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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