Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
