We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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