My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?