Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw