I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit