You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
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