he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
