I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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