dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
