we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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