Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
