Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
