you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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