Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize