1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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