That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
