Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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