Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
