Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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