i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
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I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
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Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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