Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
