I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
