do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
