since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
