I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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