I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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