You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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