i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
