i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
