Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
