So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's shark week go big or go home
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
